Hello all. Long time since my last post eh? Not a big deal i think.

 

But first of all,

 

 

I PASSED MY FIRST YEAR! I'M SO DAMN THANKFUL FOR THAT!

 

 

Ok...novelty has died off so I won't bother continuing my rambles...

 

 

Well, here's the thing.

 

Throughout my stay in India, I'd have expected more of what I am and who I have become. The friends that I have or might have had. I screwed it up, and I've lost my chance. It used to be a really big deal for me but now I just can't seem to bother.

It does come and bother me now and again, I'll admit.

 

Is it so hard to give a person a second chance? What goes around comes around. That's all I have to say.

 

I can't even keep track of the number of friends I've lost since coming to university. And when I see some of them still trying to maintain the friendships in the secondary school days and the form six days, I kind of feel ashamed for not doing the same thing. But somehow I'm not pressured to do the same.

 

Sometimes it alarms me but, most of the time I pretty much don't care.

And it really makes me feel horrible when well-meaning people offer advice, because it only serves to make me feel even more uncomfortable and frustrated.

 

So don't. I'm just expressing myself. IF you think i'm being sorry for myself and need to get a life? FUCK OFF!

 

So what if i use foul language and sound dirt cheap?

 

I am useless.

 

I am a faliure.

 

I was, is and always will be one.

 

SO WHAT?!

 

Can't take foul language? Don't bother coming back here.

 

I hate everything right now. I bet you realize now that I'm one hell of a wet blanket.

 

That's good. For ME.

 

I like being alone.

 

I used to be a D.

 

I'm now an S.

 

I used to be an I

 

I'm now and S.

 

I forgot how to communicate with people.

 

Its hard to talk or type on blogs how I really feel coz all i wanna do now is scream and break everythin i possibly can.

 

That probably sums it up. Nicely. Yeah.