Yeah..somehow I'm back in Malaysia.

I'm somehow getting along in Malaysia during the holidays...one might not believe me but I'm not really having much fun these hols.

Somehow I managed to get through 2nd year, thank God, seriously.

Woo....Malaysia and its H1N1 = HINI is how my family adresses it..=.=

 

Bro coming back in November..:D :D

 

Things don't really translate well esp feelings into blogs...instead they sound damn cheap and kiddy....=.= I'll jz keep things to myself..Just used alchemy to bring this blog back to life xD

 

Signing off,

Carol the useless fat git..

 

How temporary everything in life is...

 

I just realized...that I am a very jealous-prone person, no matter how hard I try to deny it.

 

There are so many things that I hate about me which I'd just realized.

 

I could write a book about it if i were motivated enough =P

 

Sometimes its too late to realize the mistakes you've made to rectify it.

 

Congrats to Jill Leen on tying the knot with your loved one!

 

 

What does it really mean to be in love? I have no idea. i don't even know if I love ME..answers most likely to be no, in this case. Ha Ha..

 

 

Ergh...pharm internals this sat..gotta get cracking!

I like that sentence a lot..:)

 

Though is kinda hard to explain why...

 

Sometimes life just passes us by and we're living it so carefree-ly. And there comes a time in your life when everything in life eg. friends, fun, material things all seem so important that nothing else matters.

 

That causes us to forget about God.

 

To the extent that we think that God is not that important and that He won't do things for you and the things people have done to wrong you makes you feel that He won't do anything fast enough and you take matters into your own hands.

 

Ending up in a even worse condition than before.

 

Losing friends. Getting backstabbed. Accused of things which you did not do. People calling you nasty names. it is common no doubt, to have to go through all these things...how you handle them, however, is another matter.

 

You could either turn back to Jesus, and find healing and peace.

OR

You could stay the way you are, bitter and full of anger.

 

The latter was what I used to be. And its something I'm still doing my best to overcome.

 

When you really seek peace and healing from Jesus, you'll find it. It doesn't happen overnight however and some days will really get you down, but not out, if you hold out through the end.

 

I am holding on. As hard as I possibly can. The fear of letting go again sometimes bothers me. Its not the first time I've let go. I hope it will be my last.

 

I do wish I could see Him just once though...with my own eyes.

 

I wonder sometimes if my actions justify my faith. And also all the thoughts that go through my mind.

 

I wonder if my faith is really strong enough. When i think it is, it almost always fails me...and i lose it.

 

There's a verse though, which I'm doing my best to apply it to myself...

its in Proverbs.

 

Avoid all perverse speech, keep away from corrupted talk.

Don't really know which chapter nor which verse its in ....*embarassed*

 

I've got many giants to face. i just hope that i face them with God by my side instead of rushing headlong into them without Him.

 

Meditation...I need more time to meditate and not be disturbed by mad people on MSN who can't keep from perverse talk. You know who you are. I hope you know what you're doing is a sin.

 

Cheers,

Caroline

 

 

......Okok..chilling...

 

blogdrive erased my last 'post' which i was still typing it. But no matter. Satan does not want this post to be posted. But i WILL post it. In the name of Jesus Christ my ne true LORD AND SAVIOUR!

 

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE" JOHN 3:16

 

"AND FAITH IS BEING SURE OF WHAT WE HOPE FOR AND CERTAIN OF WHAT WE DO NOT SEE" HEBREWS 11:1

 

 

"AND WITHOUT FAITH IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE GOD BECAUSE WHOEVER COMES TO HIM MUST BELIEVE THAT HE EXISTS AND THAT HE REWARDS THOSE WHO EARNESTLY SEEK HIM" HEBREWS 11:6

 

 

 

 

O LORD HEAR MY PRAYER AND KNOW THE CONTENTS OF MY HEART AND MIND. FORGIVE ME MY SINS, LORD AND FORGIVE THE HARSH WORDS THAT I HAVE SPOKEN TO YOU IN MY ANGER, HASTE AND FRUSTRATION. FORGIVE ME O LORD FOR THE TIMES WHICH I NEVER DO MY DEVOTIONS.

FORGIVE MY O LORD, THE TIMES WHERE I FAIL TO REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE GOD, WHEN OTHER THINGS GET IN THE WAY. FORGIVE ME O GOD. KNOW MY HEART AND MIND. MAKE ME PURE AND CLEANSED OF ALL SINS AND OF ALL EVIL. I LONG TO BE LIKE JESUS CHRIST MY SAVIOUR.

 

I LOVE YOU, LORD.

 

IN JESUS' BLESSED NAME,

AMEN.

 

REALLY FREAKING PISSED. NOTICE THE TITLE AND SAY NO MORE.

 

AND NO WELL WISHES. I HATE THEM.

to express myself, with whatever words i choose, without worrying about hurting anybody's feelings, no matter how much i may want to.

 

Nuff said.

Hello wello!

 

Been a long time since my last post...thanx to my procrastinating habits. LOL.

 

Anyway, first year is over and done with (thank God!) and now its on to second year!..

 

Here be the subjects that me need to study:

 

1. Dental Materials(eww!)

2. Operative Dentistry/ ODS

3. Prosthodontics.

4. Pathology

5. Microbiology

6. Pharmacology.

 

 

I bet you guys know by now how much i detest practical work(!!!) haha.

 

At the moment I've got to make a set of occlusal rims with a full set of edentulous casts made of dental stone, base plate and modelling wax.

Sounds easy? Its not...not for me anyway LOL.

 

And my room is a total mess right now. Can't get rid of this procrastinating habit of mine. LOL.

 

Ah well, messiness is part of who I am. Too bad for my room..xD

 

Had a great time in Bangalore last weekend...can't wait to go again during Deepavali. Maybe I'll get to go clubbing next time round. And a trip to the water theme park..and to Soul...I heard it was really cool!

 

I wouldn't mind skipping classes again then either...:D

 

I overspent in Bangalore...Gosh...hope my mum doesn't read this...xD...

 

Here's the total amount I spent there:

 

TA DA! Rs13,000+!

I'll let you do the math.

And here's what I bought:

 

a.) 2 dresses from Maxx

 

b.) 1 dress from Show Off

 

c.) 2 tops from Maxx

 

d.) 2 tops from Westside

 

e.) 2 tops from Lee

 

f.)1 pair of jeans from Lee

 

g.) A blouse from Show Off.

 

 

The rest of the money were spent on FOOD! xD...

 

And of course the HOTEL BILL.

 

Hmm. I've gotta go to OLD TOWN in SALEM to get my punjabi suits(3 of them!) ASAP. Lol.

 

My close friend JASBIANTE KAUR has gone to Amritsar, Punjab, India to meet her 'boyboy'..:D He's a nice guy wei...lucky her to have him and vice versa.

 

Owh...got a lot of pimples dy....Hehe...macam mana ya...gotta go for facial treatment dy...maybe when ol' Jas is back...

 

In the meantime, I gotta go clean up my room and STUDY!...I'm so left behind...in theory and practical work...heh.

 

Will put up pictures of my clothes if I feel like it..HAHA.

 

Gotta stop overeating and start playing BADMINTON in the evenings...its really quite fun!

 

AND!!!!!

 

I got the books I'd wanted ever since before I came back to India.

 

Here they are!

 

BRISINGR by CHRISTOPHER PAOLINI

 

ARTEMIS FOWL AND THE TIME PARADOX by EOIN COLFER

 

CHRONICLES OF AVONLEA by L.M MONTGOMERY

 

FURTHER CHRONICLES OF AVONLEA by L.M MONTGOMERY

 

THE EMILY SERIES by L.M MONTGOMERY

 

 

Guess what? I finished them all already. Call me a book freak if you like. :)

 

LA LA LA...I feel like singing...

 

(5 minutes later)

 

Ok the moment has passed...:)

 

 

Don't know why, but it seems that I've reached that point where I don't really think about friendships and all that...

 

Don't get me wrong. I do treasure my friendships a bunch and they mean a lot to me. I've met a lot of nice people around here and back home in Malaysia. They're really nice people, despite their  flaws but hey, we're all human. I've got my own flaws too.

 

But that isn't my point. I just had this recurring thought which I've had had for the past few months.

 

I do care for all the friendships I've got with my friends both in India and back in Malaysia.

 

I also remember how much I used to depend on my friends for petty minor things.

 

That was one of my major weaknesses. I couldn't go anywhere without any friends with me.

 

It also used to worry me dreadfully when my friends did not talk to me...I did think of reasons why, which was completely silly of me. I worried about many things which were irrelevant.

 

Thanks to the life and the experiences in India, I learnt or am learning to overcome it.

 

I thank God for it as well. I certainly did not/do not like the process of learning coz it was hard and I didn't think I deserved it. But I'm still learning of course.

 

Here's just a small note to all my friends out there wherever you may be.

 

I LOVE YOU ALL! THANK YOU FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIPS!

 

:)

 

 

I appreciate everyone who appreciates me for who I am, with all my flaws.

 

I'm not a perfect person, but then, no one is. Only Jesus.

 

Haven't been doing my quiet time in ages now. Gotta start...

 

And i wonder if my bro knows the existence of this blog...hmmm....

 

LOL.

 

I just feel so happy cos tomorrow is a holiday so I get to catch up on stuff. And I need to clean my room!

 

*Brainwashing herself*

 

CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN CLEAN ROOM ROOM ROOM ROOM!

 

Hehehehe...

 

On a more serious note,

 

I have heard from my mum that a new strain of dengue has been discovered and it is more dangerous than the last one.

 

It is known that 6 people have died due to this new strain of dengue and one of them included a young boy of 5 years old. They thought that the boy had healed from the disease, until he was found dead back home. His body was completely swollen.

 

I worry for the safety of my family. God will protect them. I thank God for that. Without Him I wouldn't know what to do.

 

And here's a note to my dear ex-senior Bryant Lim Wei Urn...:)

"The naughty girl punya blog is here. Haha. My prayers for you and your family through this time will always be there. Don't overwork kay! Later burnout baru tau...:P Blessings for you, your mum and your family. God bless you."

 

:)

 

Here's to Jonathan Ling aka Dr. Ling (officially!)

 

YOu arr...better online more abit kay...and I haven't got your parcel yet? Is it a present for MEEE? For passing first year??? Do I get 2 presents for the 2 distinctions I got??? HAHA. So perasan lah me. I'm just thankful for passing. Thankful to God and to the support my parents have given and are still giving to me.(including waking me up in time for exams) LOL.

 

No more slacking in 2nd year. GO GO GO! JIA YOU! ADD OIL!

 

 

Love and hugs to all who visit this blog,

 

Cawoline

Hello all. Long time since my last post eh? Not a big deal i think.

 

But first of all,

 

 

I PASSED MY FIRST YEAR! I'M SO DAMN THANKFUL FOR THAT!

 

 

Ok...novelty has died off so I won't bother continuing my rambles...

 

 

Well, here's the thing.

 

Throughout my stay in India, I'd have expected more of what I am and who I have become. The friends that I have or might have had. I screwed it up, and I've lost my chance. It used to be a really big deal for me but now I just can't seem to bother.

It does come and bother me now and again, I'll admit.

 

Is it so hard to give a person a second chance? What goes around comes around. That's all I have to say.

 

I can't even keep track of the number of friends I've lost since coming to university. And when I see some of them still trying to maintain the friendships in the secondary school days and the form six days, I kind of feel ashamed for not doing the same thing. But somehow I'm not pressured to do the same.

 

Sometimes it alarms me but, most of the time I pretty much don't care.

And it really makes me feel horrible when well-meaning people offer advice, because it only serves to make me feel even more uncomfortable and frustrated.

 

So don't. I'm just expressing myself. IF you think i'm being sorry for myself and need to get a life? FUCK OFF!

 

So what if i use foul language and sound dirt cheap?

 

I am useless.

 

I am a faliure.

 

I was, is and always will be one.

 

SO WHAT?!

 

Can't take foul language? Don't bother coming back here.

 

I hate everything right now. I bet you realize now that I'm one hell of a wet blanket.

 

That's good. For ME.

 

I like being alone.

 

I used to be a D.

 

I'm now an S.

 

I used to be an I

 

I'm now and S.

 

I forgot how to communicate with people.

 

Its hard to talk or type on blogs how I really feel coz all i wanna do now is scream and break everythin i possibly can.

 

That probably sums it up. Nicely. Yeah.

 

 

 

 

Well, my holidays are drawing to an end, *sniff sniff*

 

Flying back to India next Tuesday. Not really looking forward to it and all, but I have to go.

 

Not much to update, just keeping the blog alive.

 

Blog later when i'm in the mood...

 

Ciao

HEllO.

 

Its currently 2.00pm in India, the weather is sunny and hot. It is going to rain tonight. I feel it in my bones. And no, i'm not a granny with rheumatis.

 

We'd (the winter batch I BDS 2007 PIDC) just finished our Physiology practical examination today, which was pretty uneventful.

 

How on earth I managed to screw up my vivas I really do not know.

 

I do believe that my chances of having to resit all my examination papers are very high.

 

Don't think that I'm being overly pessimistic, coz if you were in my place you'd think the same too. Now, here's why I say so:

 

1. Worse than sucky theory papers which I somehow still managed to screw up despite cramming like hell.

 

e.g: Didn't get to answer most of my two marks questions for Anatomy, Physiology, Biochemistry.

I hope Oral Biology survives. Seriously.

 

Screwed up the short notes for Biochemistry and Anatomy. God help me please.

 

Just realized the fearful mistakes that I made in my Physiology theory paper and Biochemistry theory paper. God, please let me pass.

 

Can't think of any reason why the examiners SHOULD let me pass. =.=" (O.K so now you can call me paranoid and mentally disturbed/ pessimist)

 

P.S I don't care.

 

As for practicals, I've got fearfully GANAS examiners tomorrow for viva. God, if they scream at me, I really don't know what I'd do. Burst into tears? Most probably. Sheesh. I'm a running water tap.

 

 

No use wishing but I really hope I don't screw anatomy up as well, which somehow is highly unlikely coz I always tend to lose it when I'm under pressure.

 

SHEESH.

 

Ok, I'm shutting it.

 

On a lighter note,

 

I'M COMING HOME!!!

 

i'M LEAVING TOMORROW NIGHT FOR CHENNAI!!!

 

I'M GOING TO ENJOY  MYSELF!!!!

 

HURRAY!

 

bad news is i can't extend my holiday as much as i'd like.

 

and i have to check my results goodness knows when. I fear the worst, am preparing for the worst, yet hoping for the best.

 

Its all in your hands, God.

 

La di dum....there i feel better....going to go do a big round of shopping in Chennai and then more shopping awaits in MALAYSIA!

 

 

MEGA SALE WEI! MEGA MEGA MEGA SALE!

 

DAD, MOM? SORRY YAH IF I MAKE U GUYS BANKRUPT DURING MY HOLIDAY BACK IN MALAYSIA...YEAH I KNOW ITS ONLY 3 WEEKS BUT STILL...;)

 

Love my parents to bits wei. :D

 

Anyway, sighing and signing off...

 

Love, hugs and kisses,

Caroline